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Read This Please [04 Jun 2004|02:55am]
[ mood | contemplative ]

I think you will know where these lyrics come from...

Broken this fragile thing now
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
And I've thrown my words all around
But I can't, I can't give you a reason

I feel so broken up (so broken up)
And I give up (I give up)
I just want to tell you so you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, but there's just no one that gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one

Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone

And something's breaking up (breaking up)
I feel like giving up (like giving up)
I won't walk out until you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, but there's just no one that gets me like you do
You are my only my only one

Here I go so dishonestly
Leave a note for you my only one
And I know you can see right through me
So let me go and you will find someone

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, but there's just no one that gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one
My only one
My only one
My only one
You are my only, my only one

1 songs written - post some notes
An Old Anniversary Message [26 May 2004|01:16am]
[ mood | nostalgic ]

I know I wrote this over a year ago but it still fits... I know we are having a bad time right now... but its not over... just trust me... one last time is all I ask read these words and be reminded of what we have and what we can never truly throw away.

This story is about a girl I know and a guy I know too... actually more than a girl she is a lovely young woman who has gotten a few bad breaks and made a couple mistakes but that doesnt make her any worse or any better it makes her who she is... and the guy he loves her more than anything else in this world... and you know what she loves him more than anything else in the world too...
Just like anyone else they have their fights and sometimes it seems as if they are breaking apart... but they always manage to come back together and forget whats been said... in all the time that they have been together the longest they have gone without speaking to eachother is like 15 minutes... this isnt about fighting this is about joy and laughter...
sometimes late at night when they are tired and should be sleeping... they are up playing video games and making eachother laugh like no one else in the world ever could... and when it is time to go off to sleep they hold eachother in their arms and make the slow walk up the staircase and to their bedroom... what goes in there a gentleman would never tell but let me assure you it is magical... and everytime they fall more in love... things are almost perfect when they are together the sun shines brightlt and the words loneliness and heartache have no meaning to them...
Unfortunately this is a story of time and distance too... you see Chris is in Colorado and Holly is in Oregon and right now they are not together and the words loneliness and heartache seem to be all they know... I cant really speak for Holly but everytime chris sees something beautiful he thinks of holly and everytime he sees another couple together hes reminded of how much he misses her... time and distance is so hard on both of them... they love eachother just as much apart... but misunderstanding turn into all out fights while they are away from eachother... no tears of joy in eachothers arms.. just tears of sorrow from the words that should have been left unsaid... and also tears of regret from the words that should have been.
If things work out Chris will be together with Holly soon... and joy will be back in their lives... im sure you know by now that I am Chris and that I miss my holly so... and I love her just as much as i ever have...the only words that she could ever say to me that would really break my heart is: Goodbye, but she hasnt said it yet and I know that she never will her heart is mine and my heart is hers... and eachday from now on im gonna let her know how much she means to me before i go off to sleep... away from here i am broken... missing her is like a sickness and the only cure is being together... I will be cured soon though.
So Holly my love.. I know you are the only person who reads this journal... but i wish everyone could see so that they would know how much I love you and that together we are complete... and once I hold you in my arms again i am never letting go... and once I am with you... I will never leave... and know that when you are holding me close I never will be sad...

Happy Anniversary my love...
I wish i could be with you so bad right now
but soon

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Foolish Words from the Loneliest Heart Around [26 May 2004|12:51am]
[ mood | Heart Broken ]


what should I say?
when I love you's not enough
how do I smile?
when you're making me cry
and whos gonna hold you tonight
when were both sleeping all alone
do you love me still?
when imperfections double everyday
do i still show up?
when you picture happiness
and how would you feel?
if you knew that when i closed my eyes
you are still all i see
do you know the way I love
wont ever change
I only know how too
all the way
and at the end of all these
wasted days
when our hearts pull out
and shatter all the gray's
did you know I love you
is all I will have to say.


all you should ever know
is that I never could say
how much you mean to this heart
I can never describe the ways
I tingle when you touch my skin
I wont be able to tell
how peaceful you are in my arms
only a fool would try to explain
senseless joy in kissing those lips
which I made my own
I cant even speak of making love
for the tears would
drain away this page
and I miss you so
there are so many words
that I will never know
words to say everything
I think, feel, and know
but let me just say...
I would never be the same without you
the sun would die without your light
and if for some reason I ever lost you
the beats in this heart
would slowly slip away
as it turned from flesh to stone.

2 songs written - post some notes
Blurring the lines between sport and inhumanity.... [08 Mar 2004|10:39pm]
[ mood | nauseated ]

I assume everyone who willl read this will have seen the incident so I will not take time to describe the events that transpired earlier this evening in the Avs Canucks game... i just wanna spend some time trying to get all these scattered thoughts in my head out.

First of all let my say that my opinion of Todd Bertuzzi could not be lower... and there is most likely nothing he can ever do to make me respect him as a hockey player, a man or for that matter a human being ever again. I feel sick actually i feel a strange combination of pity and hatred for todd bertuzzi right now... hatred for what he has done... hatred for crawford for allowing that type of neanderthal mentality to persist... hockey is a game it is a sport it is a very physical game but god this is not the coliseum... there is nothing to gain in bludgeoning a player form behind like that... it's ironic that bertuzzi is the person who was quoted as saying "that kid's a piece of shit".

my mind's just shocked right now... i never really thought anything would happen... i did not think it would go this far... but i also assumed that the players on the canucks were just saying words... but apparantly bertuzzi has no conscience or no humanity...

Fuck this nevermind im not making anysense...

5 songs written - post some notes
U.S.A's Golden Moment [05 Jan 2004|11:37am]
[ mood | giddy ]

The U.S. just won the junior world ice hockey championships.... ha ha ha grooovy... it was quite neat... when the fourht goal was scored i jumped up off of the couch and fell on my ass... oh well

U.S.A! U.S.A!!

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Damn... thats expensive [30 Oct 2003|08:44pm]
[ mood | shocked ]

These are the current bids for the Roy autographed jerseys from his retirement night... dayum some of these are more than i make in a year.

Current Bid: $10750
Current Bid: $4500
Current Bid: $2400
Current Bid: $3100
Current Bid: $3000
Current Bid: $1600
Current Bid: $4100
Current Bid: $5000
Current Bid: $4100
Current Bid: $4000
Current Bid: $8200
Current Bid: $2400
Current Bid: $2500
Current Bid: $3600
Current Bid: $5600
Current Bid: $10100
Current Bid: $3700
Current Bid: $8100
Current Bid: $2000
Current Bid: $1833
Current Bid: $2000

2 songs written - post some notes
Hello sports fans [25 Oct 2003|02:51pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

1. What do you think has been the biggest surprise thus far in the season?
It is far too early in the season for there to be "surprises". Just because teams may have undefeated records or high scoring players at this part of the season doesnt mean it will last the entire year. The real surprises happened in the offseason... Heatley's MURDER of Dan Snyder. personnel wise a lot of people were surprised by some of the offseason moves.

2. What kind of impact do you think the Heatly/Snyder tragedy will have on the Atlanta Thrashers?
On the ice it may not be that huge of a change... they were prolly gonna make it tothe playoffs this year anyway because look at their push in the homestretch last year... Bob Hartley is a master motivator... i guess longterm they will miss snyders toughness and any team can always use an extra scorer... especially once kovalchuk starts getting doubleteamed everynight and checked hard... but still in the always weak eastern conference they have a shot at a playoff spot.

3. What do you think on the new restrictions on goalie equipment?
It's about damn time... they should have went farther... people wanna see goals... people wanna see great saves... now with smaller equipment goals could possibly go up... and now great saves will actually be great instead of a goalie just putting a giant pillow to block 90% of the net and making shooters look innacurate... NHL skaters are more skilled than ever but you cant tell because the goalies are so huge in their pads you cant score with GPS guided laser pucks half the time...

4. Should goalies be protected when they come out of their creases?
in the crease.... yes outside of the crease they should be subject to the same rules as other players... its simple... my answer is a DUHHH

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im just chillin.... [01 Sep 2003|08:43pm]
[ mood | bored ]

I'm sitting here all bored and stuff... watching holly's little bastard... I dunno why but even though he hasnt really been a pain or any thing like that its still annoying to be watching him... cause we need some stuff from the store... and i dont have a car seat so i cant go anywhere... oh well holly gets home soon...

oh yeah and BTW I bought a 1400 dollar bed today... it better be fucking comfortable...

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yo I bought LOTR toys.... [27 Aug 2003|04:26pm]
First update in a long time i know... but ive had better things to DOOOO... oh well today was cool holly and I went to springfield/eugene and shopped for fashion. We bought cool lord of the rings toys cause we are the shizznit... it has Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, King Theodan, Haldir and some other cool negro i cant think of right now...

well the chicken pasta is almost done... time to go eat :D:D:D

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Goodbye Kitty... [30 Jun 2003|10:30pm]
[ mood | melancholy ]

My kitty cat died today... I think she was 11 years old... she had leukemia... my dad took her to the vet today and the doctor said that that is what it was. I guess she could have lived a little while longer... but she didnt need to suffer anymore... so we had her put to sleep :'(... the vet did it around 4 o clock this afternoon.
Of course all of this happened while I was at work... so the last time I saw her alive was yesterday morning when she was struggling to eat her food... I knew she was sick but I never thought it was something like that... I guess I just thought she would get better... cause she's been sick before and has always rebounded... hell two years ago she had an infected gash on her foot that almost killed her and she got better from that... so its hard for me to believe she's dead... I didnt even really get to say goodbye.
Well I guess shes off where cats go when they die... I'll miss her... and I guess thats pretty much all I have to say.

R.I.P.- Bonk 1992-2003

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mine came out cool [26 Jun 2003|11:33pm]
Magic Number16
JobSerial Killer
PersonalityRainy Day
TemperamentPussy Cat
SexualWhatever, Whenever, Whoever
Likely To WinThe Respect Of My Colleagues
Me - In A WordEvil
Brought to you by MemeJack

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2 Poems from an Irrelevant man. [26 Jun 2003|11:26pm]
[ mood | creative ]

I wrote both of these on a night a couple weeks ago when Holly and I did not talk to eachother... enough said

All I have to say.Collapse )

All You Will Ever KnowCollapse )

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Not Quite Dead... But not Really "alive." either. [26 Jun 2003|11:11pm]
[ mood | worried ]

Yeah its true ive been gone a long time... been talking to Holly on the phone a lot... and now that I'm back I really hate the fucking internet it sucks my ass I just wanna cry talking to her on this damn screen... oh well

I fixed my car today... brand new distributor cap, installed a new PCV valve, new spark plugs and tomorrow im gonna be getting an oil change and rotating my tires... the damn car runs awesome now im gonna be able to drive it to Oregon HOPEFULLY next week. I called the store in Lebanon today and the manager said he didnt have any openings... and im like FUCK im gonna quit then... but leslie the manager of the photo lab heard me say that i guess and she said that she would call the store and put in a good word for me... she also said that she would have sandy calll the lebanon store and put in a good word for me as well... so hopefully things will work out... its kinda nice to know that I've done a good enough job at wal-mart these past few years that some of the managers are willing to do that for me. I dunno it was something i never expected. But if it all works out... heres an early thank you to Sandy and Leslie.

I just realized its been 17 days since my last entry holy crap... thats a long time

In other news as of January 1st 2003 i was 4500 dollars in debt and today i got my bank statement in the mail i have an account balance of $1500 my car is running fine... very soon i will be with the most loffly girl in the world... but damn I'm proud of myself for the job ive done getting myself out of the hole... i should write a book called "finances for dummies" or "The idiot's guide to finances." now all I need is that damn transfer and things will be good...
anyway I wrote a couple of poems the other night maybe ill post them later... if you all are good :P

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[09 Jun 2003|11:49pm]
you know what I have lots to say about this years Stanley Cup champs... but I can't cause unfortunately my opinion will start fights... so thats is all ye need to know.

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Holy crap im tired [09 Jun 2003|11:15pm]
[ mood | exhausted ]

This just in folks Chris has worked 32 1/2 hours in the last 3 days... 11 Hours on Saturday 8 1/2 hours on Sunday and today He worked 13 hours... from 8 a.m. to 10 p.m.....

Today i got there at 8 o clock and no one showed up until 1 a.m. cause my morning coverage somehow had the day off... so I was there for 5 hours with no break... thirsty as a mofo... and so tired I thought my legs were gonna fall off... there was freight everywhere.... there were two pallets full of merchandise... and then a pallet of new release videos that was 9 feet high so I worked that all by myself for five hours and got nowhere cause aof all the dumbass customers and helping them out... so when Rocco and Jon finally showed up... i was like fuck I'm gonna be here til 10 o clock tonight :|... cause i aint leaving til we get this shit done... and thats pretty much the deal i went to lunch at 3... subway... yum... then from 4-10 o clock i busted ass and got shitloads done... the pallet of freight are worked... all the videos are stocked... and the overstock is sorted and packed for the appropriate warehouse returns... so then as I was leaving i was like omg what has caffeine or i wont make it home... and arawyn and tiffany in the photo lab were like drink some... dr pepper... and i was like OH NM i have some goldfinger in my car... i wont fall asleep... and then they looked at me all weird then i realized why and i was like "ITS NOT A DRUG ITS A PUNK ROCK BAND!!!" LMFAO... they thought "goldfinger" was slang for drugs or something... lol dumbasses...
now im sitting here waiting for holly to get her dumbass on so i can talk to her... i had a SUPER long day i need some companionship and maybe a full body massage... and maybe something else... lol

"Chief" out

P.S. Rocco had a fucking hilarious "religious sermon" about putting movies in the boxes i nearly peed my pants.. omg i cant even begin to type it here... if you wanna hear parts of it i guess you will have to call me...

5 songs written - post some notes
Time to :'( [08 Jun 2003|10:01pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

I just made a mix of sad songs... holy crap Its too much to handle...

The ones inBOLD are more likely to make go :'(

Miss You Love- Silverchair
Ana's Song- silverchair
The Story so Far (acoustic)- NFG
The Minute I met You- NFG
Eyesore- NFG
Could it be any harder- The Calling
Stigmatized- The Calling

Song for a Mix Tape- Ataris
Hello and Goodbye- Ataris
How I spent my summer vacation- Ataris
your boyfriend sucks- Ataris
angry nerd rock- Ataris
tearjerker- Fenix TX
seein red- Unwritten Law
rest of my life- Unwritten Law
Pretty Girl (The Way)- Sugarcult
How does it feel- Sugracult
There is- Boxcar Racer
If I am- Nine Days
Bitter- Nine Days
Music of the Night- Michael Crawford (from phantom of the opera)

I think its a pretty sad mix... but hey I could just be a wimp ya know lol.

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DO YOU? [05 Jun 2003|12:58am]
[ mood | stressed ]

Dont steal my shittyass poem :P

Do you know how it feels:
to suffer for wrongs you never made?
to be punished for lies you never told?
to be mistrusted for mistakes not your own?

Do you know how it feels:
to cry out in the night?
drifting away on wet pillows
and feeling like you don’t matter?

Have you ever made someone:
cry on purpose?
hate themself?
or feel like dying?

Do you take the time:
to say I love you?
to be patient with love,
not judge until you know everything?

How would you feel:
if you broke my heart?
made me smile?
If you knew I loved you still?

5 songs written - post some notes
fuck [04 Jun 2003|11:48pm]
[ mood | blah ]

I dunno work was funny today... I was in charge of electronics all day cause duane went home early... so i got to set the itinerary and actually get important shit done for once... we killed and emptied about 12 carts... and we had a new guy working today... and the funny thing is all of us think hes a flaming homo... but other funny things happened first... Steve was dressed in a bright yellow t-shirt... so i was calling him "canary poop" and he was obviously overmatched by my quick wit... so i was like... fine call me "buffalo dung" cause i had my CU t-shirt on... and then he did something stupid... so i was like fuck it.. your name is "birdshit" now you make canary poop look bad... and then rocco showed up and now for some reason i cant remember his nickname... oh yeah it was "wifebeater" cause he had a plain white t-shirt on... and then jonathan the new queer walked up and he was alll like hey guys :S <--queer lip thing "im jon"... so after he went to the back to do some comp training i was like okay his codename is "tweedle GAY"... and we had some good laughs... poor guy though hes not actually gay i think... just socially backwards... but anyhoo i was like dont take anything we say seriously...
and then all of a sudden gordon in the cell-phone kiosk showed up and it all went to hell... we started talking in "french accents" for some reason... but the funny ass thing is we were talking like mexicans but using french accents... ?????? dont ask... so gordon became "Dirty Vino" Steve was "Dirty Sanchez"
I was "El Guapo" and rocco became Roccccccooooooooooo Callllli eNTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" i dunno dont aske...
but dammit we were entertained...

oh well im a moron...

- Chris

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LOOONG day at work... [03 Jun 2003|12:41am]
[ mood | chipper ]

OMG work was so damn hard today... we are resetting our modulars this week and next week and then our store inventory is June 19 and we arent even anywhere close on it... and we are supposed to be 50% ready for that... this is even more stressful than Christmas... and christams at wal-mart makes me wanna kill people... so yeah :|:|:|:| well today i did manage to have a tiny bit of fun... i was moving some heavy ass tv's with Rocco and they were stuck and would fit in the shelves properly... So I shouted "ROID RAGE" and attacked the box like i was juiced up on steroids it was pretty funny you had to be there... i was even foaming at the mouth... for the comedic effect of course... so for the rest of the day whenever boxes were being dificult i would go into ROID RAGE and move them out of the way or put them where they belonged... it gave us a couple good laughs... I accidentally did it in front of a customer once... and he thought it was pretty funny... so i lucked out there... anyway work had me stressed out and my car was fucking up on the way home... so i was ready to just be like roar at the world...
but when i walked in the door on the coffee table there was a pretty little purple package on the table and i knew it was my belated birthday present from Holly... it was awesomeness... there was a card in there... it was so touching and beautiful it almost made me :'(... but yeahh the butterflies were gay lol... and she put some lovely pics of herself in there... and they made my heart stop and my breath catch... my holly is so beautiful... im gonna frame the pic and keep it next to my comp... so i can look at it everynight :D:D:D:D
and in other news... i got my Futurama DVD finally... i missed the first season and thats exactly what she sent me... great gift for my b-day so i laughed my ass off... so between the presents and the lovely card... my day was actuall pretty good

thank you baby *smooch*

<3 Chris

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[02 Jun 2003|12:11am]
Goodnight Holly Firmwood *smooch*

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